Heal Me (Reapers Reign, #3) Page 7

  Slowly, very slowly, I let out my breath as dizzy waves fall around me to sit just behind my eyes. I bring my eyes up to his and notice how the sun coming through the big glass shop window catches the hairs in his beard, lighting them up to at least three different shades of brown. It makes me smile, I like the way it looks, his beard. I wonder what it feels like.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours, beautiful?” Looking around nervously, I pull my hands into my hoodie running my beads through my fingers. Can he really want to know what runs through the walls of my mind. “It's ok, baby girl, I’ve got all day. Even if we just sit here I don’t mind listening to you breathe.” He says. His tone is casual and laced with a husky timbre.

  Laying back, closing his eyes, he settles down holding onto both my legs. As he moves his fingers just on the outside of the thin stockings, it sends a very, very weird feeling through my body a sort of rush of heat mixed with a glacial kiss. He just sits there with his eyes shut while I watch him closely. I see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes easy, like it’s nothing being here with me, doing this like it’s just a normal day. He amazes me with his assurance and confidence. I wonder if I were in another time, in another place, had another life... if I could do just what he does? Walk and talk like it's a second skin, so natural, so easy, and not a task to stay conscious.

  Laying my head to the side, I just watch him be him. Stretching out my hand just a little down along my legs, I place my hand near his, just so I can feel the warmth of his hands. He shifts his hand then pushes his finger along my legs until his little finger comes out to barely touch mine. It's electric, so sensual and out of this world, I get lost and just allow this small act of touching to take me away from here. I watch as a small smile forms over his lips, I lick mine, pulling my bottom lip into my mouth. I want to take the jump like my heart says to do, but my head says we sure as shit will pass out, so I take another baby step instead, and I start to reach out to hold his fingers, to interlock them in mine...

  DING! The sound startles me. I just about jump out of my skin, and a scream escapes my mouth as the telltale heart palpitations take me. I try with all my might to stay conscious. Slamming my eyes shut, I hold my breath, trying to count my heartbeats, I feel him jump up, flicking my legs down with a thud.

  “WE ARE CLOSED!” he barks out. I jump in my skin, my heart starts pounding louder inside my chest. This is all too much! Have they found me? Have they gone to the diner and seen I’m not there? OMG did they follow me. My heart speeds to an unhealthy beat as I feel the blood booming in my ears.

  “The sign says open,” I hear a female voice. I blow out the breath I was holding and the white spots at the corner of my eyes dispel.

  “Well we aren’t. Sorry. Out, come back tomorrow,” he says harshly.

  “Geeze, ok don’t push.” I hear the woman say, her voice spilling annoyance. He did this, kicked her out and closed up his shop, because of me and my anxiety. I need a shot of forgetfulness I need to walk away from this day and it’s over load of emotions and sensory. It’s too much he will shut his shop change is day all for me. Lava heat burns in my belly for this boy with the dragon tattoo I wish I could just say to him what’s on my mind.

  Keeping my eyes slammed shut, I hear him locking the door and flipping the sign to ‘closed.’ I need to calm down, to breathe. It takes six of his strides to get from the door to me, just six. I count my heartbeats and the pulse in my ears, placing my head in my hands, rocking back and forward. I breathe in and out, in and out. He bends down in front of me. I sense and smell him before I feel him.

  Wrapping his hands around my forearms, my hands still cover my face. “Hey, look at me.” The gravelly sound of his voice meets me. Shaking my head is the only response I can give, not trusting my voice to speak. “Poppet, hey come on, I'm going to pick you up and take you upstairs, ok? Remember to count the beats of my heart. And in case you didn’t know I’m a tad crazy about ya. The way you look right now girl your lush.”

  Oh god, is he really going to pick me up? I don’t have a moment to think, I can only tense as he wraps me in his arms. Yep it’s happening. I go rigid, peeking out as my breathing hitches. I need to try and just be human, try all this with him, he said he’s crazy about me I need to remember that and all he has said and done. Feel him, his touch is so soft, yet hard, secure and strong. I can feel his chest, and muscles under his shirt, it’s insane how wired my body feels to his. I feel myself starting to pass out, so I do as he suggested, I start to count the beats of his heart.

  Ghost

  Taking her in my arms, I again relish how she feels. Her tiny frame sits perfect against my body, she smells so good, like honey and rain with a dash of vanilla. I could breathe her in all day and never grow tired of it. Taking the steps one at a time, I carry her upstairs, walking into the large room in the loft. The sun is streaming through the skylight; just the way I love it. I place her gently down on my bed and prop her up against the headboard, her eyes are still slammed shut and her arm is thrown over her face.

  “There you go, poppet.” Walking over to the large chair that sits opposite the bed, I pull my smokes free from my pocket, along with my cell. I switch that off and light up a smoke. Breathing in a long drag, I pull it in deep down inside of me, and as always it calms me.

  She shifts, then brings her arm down, but her eyes are still shut.

  “I won’t look at you unless you tell me to. We both can sit with our eyes shut if that is what you would like, poppet.”

  Timberly

  Smiling at what he’s said, he really is so sweet he sees what makes me nervous and he sees the panic laced with anxiety and he never seems to push he just allows me to be me. I open my eye a crack. “Thank you,” I say shakily.

  “For?” he asks.

  “This,” I say, waving my hand around in the air. My head is pounding, the headache is freaking off the chain insane, like I feel every pump of blood, every beat of my heart, all the way back in my skull. Running my fingers through my hair, I can feel an egg and the split where blood has started to dry. It’s crusty and a mess. I steal a glance at him sitting there with his leg up resting his elbow on his knee. He wears his customary cherry red Docs and black jeans with a hoodie. It’s the first time all day that I have got to study him and see what he is wearing and how impressive he is. Feeling a wave of tiredness wash over me, I shift down in the bed shutting my eyes. “I'm just going to close my eyes for a bit, my head hurts,” I say as I hear him jump up from the seat.

  “Oh shit, pills. You need pills, um right?” As he goes running out, I hear him take the steps in double time. He’s back in a flash, leaning over me, I can feel his warmth hovering above me. “Sit up poppet.” He orders me. Opening my eyes, I look up at him through my lashes, nervousness again washes over me at his closeness. I place my hand out and he pops two tablets into my hand passing me the water, a look of concern etched on his face. “Take these and go to sleep, babe. I’ll be just over there.”

  Nodding, I take the tablets and water. The water slides down my throat, leaving a cool trail in its wake and it feels good. I pass the glass back to him, our hands touch, and I flinch from the heat alone. He smiles down at me. As I lay back he pulls a throw over me, “Rest poppet, rest.” Closing my eyes, a smile creeps over my face. He makes me feel safe and human, not a dirty vessel like all the rest do.

  Ghost

  Sitting here, watching her sleep is like a sugar high, I can’t get enough of her. The way the sun from the skylight kisses her skin – that is the most amazing shade of white, it’s almost see-through – makes me want to hold her forever. Her lips are full and plump with the most tantalizing shade of soft pinky red... what I wouldn’t do to kiss them. Her hair is a stunning color of dark black with flecks of brown and sun-kissed streaks through it, it shines and dances in the light like it's alive. I’m fixated on the way her chest rises and falls with each breath.

  I can see her pulse in her neck thrumming with eac
h beat of her heart if I stare hard enough. What would she ever make of me, and my life? I want to know this wonder, get inside her head, under her skin. I want to get inside her, but she’s so timid and tormented, by what? I find her so intriguing and downright fascinating, maybe she is just what my demented, sick, twisted brain needs.

  Scratching at my arm, knowing that I need another hit but not wanting to be high when I have to be vigilant of the sleeping beauty in my bed, I pick up my pad and pencil and do what I do best other than torturing souls, draw. I draw her in all her wonders. Page after page, I draw her soul onto paper, stenciling her to my mind so I can lock her away in there forever. No matter what is to come, the demons and dark could never take this from me.

  Putting the pad down and walking so quietly over to where she sleeps, I fan her hair out over the pillow so softly, not wanting to wake her. Twisting it around my finger and leaning down, I breathe her in. This woman has a scent I have never smelt before, it's intoxicating, to say the least. I can’t quite pinpoint it, it's flowers and something else, some floral intensity mixed with a spicy tingle.

  Walking back to the chair, I continue to draw here as the hours tick on by; the silent hum of hearts mixed with hope and fear. They all fill this loft that has always felt so empty until this day. Now it feels filled with beauty and her scent mixed with the uneasiness of a tattered soul. Then a tap, tap, tap on the glass below jolts me from my reprieve that is her. Placing the pad and pencil down, I take the steps two at a time. If they wake her there is going to be hell to pay, but on reaching the door, I see it's Red, a big smile on her face and food at her bosom. Unlocking the door, I let her in.

  “All good here, son?” She asks.

  “Yup, she’s sleeping,” I say as I pull the door behind her.

  “Ahh I see, how long has she been out?” She asks.

  “Well, um shit, she said she had a headache and was sleepy, so I gave her them pills and, by the way, they are a blue color, is that even normal?”

  Laughing at me, she places the food on the counter.

  “Yes that’s normal, geeze son, never have I seen you on edge. You're always so stone-cold and tense.” She chuckles sitting down on the couch lighting up a cigarette.

  “Mmm it’s this... her, she does weird things to me.” I answer while reaching into my pocket. I pull out a smoke of my own, lighting it. I look at her through a cloud of smoke.

  “You’ll want to wake her soon, she shouldn’t sleep too long in case she has a concussion. Feed her and get her back by seven or there will be hell to pay at her place for her tonight.” After giving me those instruction and stubbing out her smoke, Red pulls herself up. Walking out, she winks at me before shutting the door and locking it.

  I look after her, the last comment she made is sitting in my brain like a heavy stone. I don’t like how Red said that there will be hell to pay. Is Timberly in danger where she lives?

  Picking up the food, I take it up the stairs. I'll set it up outside on the rooftop. I haven’t been out there in a long time. The plants have all turned brown and the small table has leaves blown in on the wind laying on top as the spiders have set up home and cobwebs tinkle in the brilliant sunlight sorry spiders you need to move along and make home elsewhere. I brush the palm of my hand over the small round table top pushing the dirt leaves and webs away. I lay out the food and hot drinks from Red. Looking good there, Ghost, who would have thought. Chuckling at myself, I head in to wake her up. Shit, this is going to be a ride, isn’t it? She’s going to freak out, that I'm sure of.

  Sitting down next to her, I place a hand over her shoulder, pushing the hair that has fallen over her face from sleep. Slowly, I lean down and lightly, very fucking lightly, I run my lips over her temple, breathing her in like she’s the air that I need to stay alive. Bringing my lips along to her ear, I whisper her name, “Timberly, poppet, time to wake up.” When she didn’t wake, I started shaking her lightly. “Timberly, babe, wakey, wakey.” I feel her before I see her reaction, tense, rigid, scared.

  She screams out as she shoots up the bed. “NO please. Not again. NO, go away!”

  What the fuck? She has gone a deathly shade of white gray. “Poppet, it’s me, Ghost, you’re safe. Breathe, you’re here with me at my shop.” She’s looking around with wide eyes, holding her head where she smacked it on the headboard. I realize she’s shaking. Well Poppet you’re not the only one my mind specks to my subconscious as my body rolls with shaking anger what has such a horrific influence on her tiny body for her to be jumping with such fear. panic laces her eyes and anger rolls off my body meshing with a thick air of unknown pain and passion in this room all the strength I have inside of me I call on because the tears that well in her eyes as I seek them for answers has me wanting to break someone’s anyone’s bones. Sitting down, I wrap her in my arms. I have too to quill her raging heart with mine she has just hit me like a hurricane and I need a minute to analyze just what she is feeling and what I am feeling. “Hey, you ok?” She nods against my shoulder. “Breathe in and out, ok? In and out, nice and slow...” Rubbing my hands over her back, I can feel every bone in her tiny wee body. “That’s it, poppet, that’s it, one breath at a time.”

  Pulling her forward, looking at her face her brow has a sheen of sweet on it tears staining her cheeks wiping them away she shuts her eyes and instantly holds her breath. Fuck. “Timberly, breathe, you’ll pass the fuck out!” I push out in an anger-laced tone that I didn’t even mean to sound so clipped but seeing her shut away from me the fear that is rolling in thick waves of her into me. “I will not hurt you.” I whisper out so soft and quiet.

  “Please don’t raise your voice, it scares me,” she says so quietly I'm wondering if I had even heard it.

  Running my hand over my beard, I look over at her, her terrified eyes open, set on mine. “Sorry, I just don’t want you passing out and hurting.”

  “It’s ok-k, it happens a lot-t” she stumbles out, standing awkwardly.

  I put out my hand. “Come outside, Red brought food.

  You need to eat something, you have slept a lot and apparently that’s not cool for a bang to the head.” Walking out to the rooftop, I feel her still in my grasp. I feel my control shorten my desire to ask her just who has inflicted so much pain for human touch on her delicate body coz I will hunt them and kill them. I take a deep and I mean deep breath in and slowly blow it out. I need to stay in control for her. Time will come, and I will know the answers I seek, and retribution will come. Stopping, I let go to pull out her chair. “Sit Poppet, eat.” Walking around, I take a seat opposite her.

  “T-thank you-u” she says, jittery.

  “For?” I ask.

  “This... helping me, being kind.” Shock in her voice, she looks out over my shoulder.

  “Well poppet, it’s my pleasure.” Eating in silence is so hard when all you want to do is reach over and pull her out of herself and fix all that’s broken and make her better. Shit, what’s happening to me? This woman is going to bring me to my fucking knees, I know it.

  I can fucking feel it.

  Chapter Seven

  Timberly

  I don’t mind the smell of my room tonight or the sounds below, nothing can take away today. He is the perfect escape and I feel that he can break down these bricks because, in the dark, he’s there being the light. He leaves me so defenseless. I try to hold him out but he’s breaking in. I fall apart in front of him and he seems to not mind, he pieces me back together, like it’s as easy as walking. It’s like I heal him also, the way he heals me. Today was amazing, now to wait for the sun to rise on a new day and see what that brings.

  Drifting off into a sleep laced with the deep pools of Ghost’s eyes and the touch of his hands on my skin, the burn it leaves in its wake. I'm content, happy, floating. For the first time, I feel human, that is until I hear him, them, step-by-step, stopping at my door. I lay so still, barely breathing in. I hope they don’t want to taint me with their filth tonight. Please, for the lov
e of god, don’t take his warm touch from my body so soon and replace it with this disgusting feeling and smell of whiskey and stale smoke.

  Holding my breath as they stand there kicking my cot, I try to not let the tears escape or the hurtful words they spit out hurt me. It’s hard when I feel all they say is true, I pretend to be asleep, as always, hoping it will be enough that maybe they will leave.

  Oh how wrong was I. I feel him ripping me up by my arms and I scream out in pain. It hurts. His arms’ vice-like grip on my body, my body is so thin and bony, I feel I'll surely break one day. Throwing me down, he screams at me, yelling out about how dirty I am. Unzipping his zipper, he looks at me, twisting my jaw up to meet his gaze. “You shall suck my cock and then we shall play, you dirty little slut. The devil made you unclean and we shall take from your filthy soul until we are satisfied that the debt is paid in full, you little skank,” he spits at me, pulling me in by a handful of my hair, pulling open the cut from today. The pain is burning, I feel the ooze of warm blood as it pools at the back of my head, and then, finding strength, finding my inner voice from the day with Ghost it showed me that I am more than the scarred girl hiding behind thick lashes and panic attacks. I know I want to change. I will change and tonight I take that first step.

  I look at him his fat belly hanging over his undone belt buckle his teeth stained and his hair slicked back combed close to his head black and oily. “If you consider me so impure, dirty and unclean, after you and all these men take me, touch me, fill me with filth, then maybe you should take a look at your hands, for you are the one making me dirty.”

  He is seething, I feel it radiating off him into me. I scream out in pain as he whips me up by my hair, the tips of my toes just touching the cold ground. “You smart little whore,” he spits out at me. Bringing his hand back, he smacks me hard to my face, sending my head whipping back. I see the other guy then, getting himself off sitting on my bed wanking without shame. I kick out at the brute with his hands firmly locked in my hair. Kicking him a few times in his fat guts aiming for his dick but my feet can't quite find their target over his belly. I spit in his face as he brings his face to mine his looks turns from annoyance to pure anger. My eyes go wide as he brings his fist back he punches me in the nose. My teeth shatter together from the force biting down on my tongue I can taste the blood pop through. I'm dizzy, my eyes watering, blood is pouring from my nose, dropping over my lips and down my chest. I actually feel as though I may be sick. Drawing me backwards behind him to my bed throwing me down he hops over me pushing my face into the pillows. Panic strikes the back of my brain as I can barely breathe maybe I’ll pass out and not have to be here for this one. Nope, turning my head slightly with his hand still gripped in my hair he licks up the side of my face as he slams into me from behind. It’s then that the tears come then I can no longer hold them back they fall as he takes me, breaks past my clenched walls enters into my body and misuses me in a way that nobody could ever see past and love not after this what they do.