Heal Me (Reapers Reign, #3) Read online

  “When? Knox,” she spits at him pulling back. “You want to fucken know when! Well listen up. How about in the shower when you fucked me and left me like dirt on the ground sobbing? Or the gym inside the cage today, tonight at the grave of the fucking angel, who you cling to like a fucking life raft, or right now... this.” She spits, pointing from him to herself and everyone else standing in this rather small apartment.

  Looking on with shock, my fingers snake out over the corner of the counter unable to stay around my chest. I need to dig my nails into the hard wood to stop me from ripping the newbie’s throat out from hearing what my baby Blue just said. No one, not even a new member gets to treat a woman as fragile as Blue like a fuck toy. She’s been through hell and back and she’s is our baby sister. Knox needs to be remined of just that. I’m his V fucking P and he will watch himself.

  “This right here!” Throwing her whole weight at him she starts swinging. “You don’t fucking get it, do you? You’re so damn blind. I can do this alone. I don’t need you or your demons. I taught mine to swim, remember. They will be my savior, not you, not the club. After the shit they have been through dealing with this, it’s the last thing I want, Knox. So leave with them, do what Knox does best, walk away, hide behind your angel, your anger and your hate. Get out!” Her fiery red locks of hair flowing madly around her like a halo of fire, she’s screaming like a full raving lunatic. I can’t help but smirk. Picking up the beer bottle, I down the last of its contents – the bitter taste of yeast and hops hitting the back of my dry throat.

  “Just go, all of you, now! She yells, her whole face going to an angry shade of explosive red just as Knox’s hand comes up and slams over her mouth. What? To quiet her? Ha! Fool on you, that won’t happen. She’s the Celtic goddess Blue fucking James.

  “Sshh, will you stop all that fucking shrieking, it's doing my head in.” Her eyes widen as she bites down on his hand with all her fury. She breaks the skin. He has no choice but to let go as the pain and anger flash through his eyes. “FUCK! That hurt,” he seethes out shaking his hand, blood flying out around him.

  Bray begins to laugh. “Told you she was hard work, brother.” He says between laughter. I know she hates us right now and Bray just stuck a cherry on top of the already raging pie known as Blue.

  “She’s fucking mental. Blue, baby, have I told you lately how much I fucken love you?” I say.

  Flipping us all the bird, she answers, “I fucken hate you all. Now fuck off!” She runs into the bathroom locking the door, Lilly hot on her heels.

  Looking back over the room, I pull my aching body from the counter. “We are done here, she’s lost it, good luck getting any reason from her now. She’s gone over the edge and I'm out.” I say. “I can’t help Blue when she’s like this.”

  I walk to the bathroom door, leaning down to kiss Lill on the head. “Blue baby, I know you’re doing what Blue does best. Hiding and in denial, I get it, I do, after all the shit you’ve been through. But baby, just listen to the newbie. He may just have a demon or two that are the match to your demon’s needs.” Kissing my fingers, I place them on the door. “Love ya, firecracker, see you on the flipside.” I squeeze Lilly’s shoulder as I walk past her, and her eyes meet mine. The pain and loss floating in them hurts my heart.

  Pulling into my place, I kill the low rumble of my bike’s engine. Flicking the stand down and pulling my helmet off, I let out a breath and bend my head from side to side, cracking out my neck. I take the steps of my deck two at a time. It’s been a long ass mother fucking day and I need to chill.

  I head over to my bar, I need a Jager and a cigarette. I pour the amber liquid over the ice, cracking the seal on a can of Red Bull and tipping it in, stirring it with my finger as I walk out of the house and onto the deck.

  Pulling out a chair and sitting down, breathing out deep and kicking my boots off, I place my feet up on the rail, looking out over the dark night thinking back over the events of today and the smell of the girl who has captured my mind and has my soul feeling.

  The crisp night’s air is soothing on my skin, goose bumps form over my arms bringing me back to the now, the reality that I need to fill my body with ladylove if I want to sleep tonight. I wish I had a job. I'm getting antsy. I need to feel the warmth of blood on my hands. The crimson glint, the metallic taste floating in the air.

  Pulling my phone from my jeans, I look at the time. Fuck, it's 2am. No point texting Bray now to ask for a job. I'll hound his ass tomorrow or hunt out Viper myself. Bob from the diner seems to be a good bet, a crack to his fat mug would soothe the thirst for a bit, and he deserves it. If he looks at her sideways tomorrow then I'll smack the prick, a jab to the nose will suffice. I'm only human after all with a need to see pain pool in other’s eyes, to see blood drip from their body. Downing the rest of my glass, I head upstairs to bed. Either I’ll sleep or lay awake thinking of the itch and Miss Coffee.

  Morning dawns, the rays pierce through the open windows. The new fall’s day swirls around me like a blanket of fog. I feel like a jacked-up junkie. I need to feed my hunger, but I'm out. I had that whole bag yesterday. Damnit! Dope sickness is sinking in. I feel the nauseous pull in the pit of my stomach. Now with Blue’s shit on top of it all, I gotta keep a clear head. I just want to fill my veins and forget that I have this life. This, this life right here, all of it, is half of the reason why I turned to her and her black power. One taste of bliss is all it took to pull me into her depths. One kiss from her sweet taste and I was under the spell of ladylove.

  Now to break free from her grip to save myself while I save the coffee girl and Blue. Bray needs me also, he’s so fucked up right now. I need to be more present in this fucking thing we call life.

  Walking through this massive house, I head to the kitchen to make coffee before showering and dressing for the day. Today I'm going to ask her name. I want to know more about this intriguing girl with the glass blue eyes.

  Chapter Five

  I have endured, I have been broken, I have known hardship, I have lost myself. But yet here I stand, still

  moving forward, growing stronger each day. I will never

  forget the harsh lessons in my life.

  They made me stronger...

  -Unknown

  Timberly

  Looking in the mirror, I repeat this quote that I have read in the many books I lose myself in, but I'm tired of fighting. For once I want to be fought for. I need to open up and let the world in. It's not all bad, is it? Red seems to think not and maybe the boy with the dragon tattoo sees more in me than I see in myself. We shall see.

  For the first time ever, I have felt butterflies at what could be. It wasn’t just a dream or wishful thinking. This boy spoke to me. He came back to talk to me again. He wanted to see me.

  How do I show him without scaring the bejeebers out of his soul that I'm not as clean as my uniform makes me out to be? My soul is tainted black and my skin is filled with so my hate that I can barely sleep at night. My eyes are the windows to dark secrets. My mother is a junkie who doesn’t even know what day it is and pimps her daughter out for payment when due. Braiding my hair into a fishtail, I head down the stairs for cooking and cleaning duty.

  It's remarkably quiet in this hellhole today, my door didn’t even get locked last night after drug lord number two paid me a visit. Shuddering inside my skin, I head to the kitchen, passing the passed-out drunks and druggos in the living room. I absolutely cannot stand drugs. Just look at what it does to people.

  Pancakes and bacon today, seeing as I'm feeling good and looking forward to my day. I may even suck up enough courage to talk today instead of running away.

  I sing James Arthur’s ‘Recovery’ while I put the washing on and clean up their mess. Empty bottles and crusty dishes are all over the place, along with the dirty needles from last night’s drug binge left lying about. I need to break free from here.

  This song says so much. It’s the lyrics of my life.

  Walking bac
k up the hallway, I peer into her room. Clothing and junk are spread everywhere, she is sprawled out on top of her bed, two men on either side. Is it wrong of me to wish her to just OD? That would make this so much easier.

  Shaking my head, I leave a note explaining where the food is and what I have done. I leave money in the freezer for her. I grab my hoodie from my room, wrapping my Rosary beads around my hand. If she saw them, she would flip her shit, they were my grandma’s. It’s the last thing my grandma gave me before the she-devil took me from them, to do this, to be a slave. To serve her and her men with food, my body, my mind and my soul. She could have just left me with them like hell she was gone for the first Fifteen years of my life but the moment I grew boobs and could make money pay her debuts she stole me back from them. From the only love I had ever felt to keep house with drug lords and cockroaches.

  Gliding down the steps to the cool New York day, I breathe in the sweet smell of a new day. I fill up my lungs with the cold air as much as I can, reminding myself that I am human after all, even though half the time I feel like a zombie strolling through this shit pit with nowhere to go.

  Startling me from my thoughts is that smell. Those eyes boring into my soul. Standing there, leaning up against a half burnt-out car in the street, it’s him, the boy with the dragon tattoo. Pulling into my hoodie I look at my feet. “Morning beautiful.”

  Looking around and then back to him confused, he really is blind isn’t he. He has to see the apartment building I just stepped from and the filth that comes with this side of town. I point to myself, “Me?” looking around the strret is all but empty bar a few not so sober people making out on the hood of a car.

  “Yep, you.” I feel the tell-tale flush in my cheeks. Pushing off the car he hands me a cup of coffee, “Strong, no sugar with just a dollop of cream,” he states like he’s been making it forever.

  “H-how do you know how I have my coffee?” I stutter my mind races to how he would know this and how he thinks that’s its ok to like rock up here and well chat like its normal

  Tapping his nose as he looked deep into my eyes, he said, “You’ll be surprised what I know, princess. Let’s walk to the library, shall we? I can help in your quest to read all the books ever written by man.” Ok well this is really weird and actually creepy now he knows a lot and that has the hairs on my spine prickling but the butterflies in my stomach flying high and then dipping low.

  “That’s not just what I do there” I say coldly, hurt a little. “I am actually trying to find two of the most beautiful humans to ever walk this earth. My grandparents.” My tone sharp and I well surprised myself with it.

  “I know, princess.” He winks at me as he reaches down and grabs my hand. I still, holding my breath. A panic attack is forming I can feel it, it’s taking my breath away, the little black spots are forming at the edge of my eyes. I need to listen to the beats of my heart, but they beat out of sync when he is around.

  “It’s ok, babe, I got you. Just breathe. Don’t let this panic swallow you up. You are bigger than it.”

  I'm so confused. My body starts shaking as panic bubbles to the surface. I try to form the words inside my head to come out in a coherent sentence. "Huh hoooww do you know t-this-s?” I ask nervously.

  “Red. I stopped there and got our coffee. She told me somethings about you, but one thing I didn’t ask, solely because I wanted you to tell me, was what’s your name, beautiful?"

  “I'm not beautiful, stop saying that.” I glare, uncomfortable that he comments on a feature I don’t have nothing ab out my broken soul is beautiful I am scared, and I am fractured. I try to pull my hand free, but he holds onto it tighter, pulling me into him.

  “Listen to this,” he says, wrapping his arms tight around me, pulling me into his chest. “Listen to my heart, it’s never beat pure before. It was dead, dark and alone, it still is in a way, so shattered and cold. But you, beautiful, have brought something out in it. Just watching you, flying past you daily on my bike and hearing your voice, seeing the way the sun hits the natural black of your hair and illuminates you in a halo, and fuck, beautiful, don't get me started on your eyes. They do things to me that scares my shattered soul. You have brought back a slight hum. It's healing and maybe I need to know you, to mend you and to save you just as much as I need saving.” Well fuck he’s the boy on the bike, he’s the escape I wished for and he’s the dream that I know I need but hearing this deep submission sends a fear through me that I don’t know if I can hold onto. I’m unsure I can give what he needs and accept what he offers. He is right though heart beats hum when near death but they beat when love is injected.

  Sucking in, my lungs fill with the crisp air as I try to dull the black spots. The last thing I want to do is pass out in front of him. Then he really will see just how screwed up I truly am. He’s right though, listening to his heart helps. It calms me, this is so weird. I’ve only ever had my own heart to calm me and the funny thing is his beat sounds a lot like mine. Not quite there, just a little hum in a body that’s been hurt for so long.

  Stilling in his embrace, I seem to relax and his grip on me loosens a little. “That’s it, breathe, baby, just breathe. Do you hear that?” He asks, rubbing his hand on the small of my back.

  “Yes, it sounds like m-mine.” I stutter out, “It sounds tormented like mine.” I say with an empty voice.

  “It’s just that, baby, tormented. How about we be each other’s saving brave? We can save each other and be brave doing it,” he says, the last part nothing more than a whisper.

  “No, don’t go,” he says nervously. His grip tightens as I try to run.

  “I...I can’t. I'm no good for you. I can’t be brave for the both of us. I'm not strong enough to save myself let alone you!” I snap out, fast and clipped, pulling from his sweet embrace that seems to center me. Instantly the cold crisp air hits me taking away the warmth of him. Being near sadness hits my stomach, and I feel lonely without his embrace. Shit Timberly, the devil on my shoulder mouths into my ear. You can't even look at him so stop with the needing his touch shit.

  Snappy bitch, I murmur to her as my angel comes into view.

  He needs you as you need him, she whispers all calm and collected like she has such a great hold on the world. Looking over my shoulder as I flee, I suck it up and look into his eyes from under the safety of my long lashes. I see it, swimming in his breathtaking irises, a look of hurt, of abandonment, it stills me in my tracks.

  “What’s your name?” He asks again.

  “Why?” I shrug my shoulders.

  “Because, like it or not, I want to know you. Your presence is a temptation my body needs. Before I found you, I was stuck in a hell of my own dark evil thoughts. And you, well, you bring light into that hell. You stimulate my senses. You verify that I am alive, not a cold dead soul needing to escape.” He is standing. Why is he standing? Taking a few steps into my space his presence sucks the air out from between us.

  “You're what I look forward to seeing at the end of the night. I know that when sleep comes I get to see you, watch you, hear your sweet voice or see your fucking smile that sends my cock onto hyper alert.” Creepy much he is defiantly the kinda of guy that fits the mold of stalker slash serial killer but is tone and the look in his eyes is slightly comforting in a creepy way.

  He sounds lost, as though he needs me! ME! But yet he has an edge to him. He's a dangerous bad boy in leather and cherry red Docs. “Why are you telling me these things?” I snap out, shocked at the harsh tone in my voice. I pull from his hand that he’d placed on my arm to keep me near him.

  Turning away, I pull myself into my hoodie. How the hell is this happening? It's weird, fucked up, not right. I'm dirty beyond belief and yet he sees me, wants to actually see me. The plain ugly girl who stutters. I feel him walk up behind me and tense my shoulders. “Please don’t touch me again. Please just stay there. I can't do this! I have to go, I'm sorry!” I say honestly.

  “Please beautiful, just tell me your
name?” He asks, his tone laced with what I think is passion. A spark of a fire flicks over my cold soul as his words warm me and send a small splinter of hope into my body it actually feels remarkable I should allow it in.

  “Timberly, my name is Timberly Roe.” I push out as fast as I can before my chest tightens and my world goes black. Just like that, like a bolt of lightning in the night’s sky, I'm out.

  Ghost

  Holy fucken shit! I didn’t mean to scare her to unconsciousness. Dropping down to my knees, I pick her up, checking her head, running my fingers through the thick black locks on the back of her skull. I feel the lump on the back of her head. Fuck little lady, that’s going to hurt when you come to. I feel the sticky blood on the tips of my fingers from where her head has cracked open from slamming into the concrete below us. The smell moves me, the metallic tang captivates the devil living in me.

  Bringing my fingers up to my mouth, I taste the sweet blood on them, her blood. My very own angel of darkness, mystery and surprise. Oh, this has my blood pumping, has heightened my desire to get to know her, to be in her. I am only human after all and we all need that sweet release. Even if it's playing with fire, setting souls alight. Alright, maybe I can do more than just fucking cut and destroy.

  Scooping her knocked out ass up from the cold concrete, I walk. Pulling her into me, I head for the shop. Red will know if she needs a doc. I sure as fuck wouldn’t have a clue, I’m the one who sends them to the doctors not mends them. I'm still reeling from the tantalizing taste of her sweet blood, it still sits front and center on the tip of my tongue. Fuck, should I have moved her! Shit! Maybe not. Damn, I don't wanna like fuck with her neck and the spinal cord and all that crap. Looking down at her milky white skin, it shines, almost... glows; this woman has captured my whole soul. She’s thawing my cold soul with each look from her glass blue eyes, each flick of her ponytail, each sway of her delicious hips.